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Harris shifted in bed and her eyes opened slowly to meet with the tranquillity
that was her lover as he slept. She'd smile if it didn't hurt so much to
love him. To know that he didn't feel the same way about her as she did
him. Even after a 4 year relationship. She smirked. What they had wasn't
a relationship if she was honest with herself, and now more than ever she
knew she had to be if she had any hope of living happily.
Her friends were all married or engaged and were starting families of their own. But here she was still single and not getting any closer to a committed relationship no matter how many years passed by. All she was to him was a booty call, something to pass the time when he was home for a while and felt horny. A giggle escaped her lips unheard. He was horny 24/7. So she had no doubts that when she wasn't there and he was on the road, that he'd slept with women whose first name he couldn't remember the next day. But it was hard for her not to fall in love with him all over again when he called from the plane to ask her to be at the airport, and then when she saw him againÖ
With a sigh she climbed out of bed, slipped on her negligee and headed to the small couch at the back of the room. Sitting down she watched his dormant body wrapped up beneath the blankets. She knew she had to tell him. Their sex driven weeks together weren't going to change the fact that he didn't love her, as much as she wished it would. She wanted him to love her. Hell, she'd put in enough effort to deserve more than she got in return. Sure, he'd say he loved her. But that was pillow talk. He never said it when it mattered, and she knew she had to end it.
When he'd called the night before and asked her to meet him at the hotel, she had the break up all planned out in her head. But then she saw him, and the ability to walk away left her. She only had to see those eyes with that smile and she was smitten. She hated herself for being so vulnerable. She hated demeaning herself by being his beck and call girl. But it was better to be someone's something than nobody's nothing.
He'd made her all kinds of promises when they'd first got together, and for a while he kept to them. She was his queen and her father always told her never to settle for anything less. But that soon changed after a year. Suddenly she was just someone to call when the night's got cold. Maybe he'd gotten comfortable with her always being there, because she was. She would always drop everything whenever he called, and her friends told her she was making a big mistake. But that was easy for them to say, they weren't lonely.
She shook her head. They hadn't been in the hotel room for more than 10 minutes before he was ripping her clothes off, and as much as a part of her wanted to resist she didn't. He knew exactly where to touch her to make her grip on reality slip. He knew exactly the right buttons to push. A smile found its way to her lips as she remembered the night before. But quickly she shook it off as he shifted his position. She'd hate him if she didn't love him so much.
Suddenly he was looking at her, his blue orbs burning a hole in her soul as she fought not to melt under his gaze. "What are you doing out of bed?" He asked, his brow slightly furrowed.
Getting to her feet she headed over to where he lay, "I was thinking." She put it simply. But it wasn't simple. Her mind was whirling with all the reasons she had to leave him. But it was being betrayed by her heart, soul and body. Her heart wanted to love him for eternity. Her soul wanted to reach out and open up to him, and her body ached for him to do to her what he did best.
As she sat on the bed with her back to him, she felt him shift closer. His hand reaching up to the strap of her negligee and pulling it down to expose her shoulder to his lips, which he lay gently upon it. "Iíve got something for you." He said.
Her eyes closed, feeling the sensations his simple touch cascaded over her. But shaking out of it she shot to her feet, "Donít JC."
"Donít act like we have something here."
He frowned, "If we donít have something, why are we here?"
Her anger took over, "Well, you know, Iíve been asking myself that very same question. Why are we here?"
He sat up in bed, the lower part of his naked body covered loosely by the sheet, "What kind of question is that?"
"I think itís a pretty fucking good one JC. Why do we continue to get together when we both know this is going nowhere?"
"Nowhere? I thought we were good together."
"Yeah, in bed we areÖ pretty damn good. But when was the last time we did something that didnít involve sex?"
He searched his mind but couldnít come up with a single event that didnít involve them falling into bed. "Does it matter?"
She frowned, her temperature rising with every word he coated with denial, "The fact that you even have to ask that question just shows exactly what we have going on here."
"We have a good time. Why do you have to analyse it?"
"Because I need to know why Iím here? Why you continue to call me when you get into town, and why you even want me around? Iím obviously nothing more to you than a regular piece of ass."
He stifled a laugh, "Youíre more than that."
"Am I really? Do you realize that in the four years weíve been together Iíve met your so called Ďbrothersí all of 6 times, and that was in the first year?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"It has everything to do with everything. The fact that you hide me away in hotel rooms shows how much I mean to you. All I am is someone you can call when you need a little light relief. I donít matter to you."
"Thatís not true." He said, not being able to contain his amusement at the things she was coming out with.
She was at boiling point, "Iím serious JC. I want to know where is this going?"
"Us. These sex driven nightsÖ where are they going to end up ultimately? Do you even see us having a future?"
"Why do we have to define our relationship?" He shook his head.
"Because Iím asking you to." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I need to settle down or move on."
"You donít mean that." He said climbing from beneath the sheets and exposing her eyes to the full naked length of his body. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her upper arms, "You are the one person whoís helped me get through the last 4 years. What we have is special. Why would you want to throw that all away?"
Her eyes met his with a solemn look, "Iím ready for the next step JC, and if you canít give that to me, then Iíll just have to find someone that is."
"Iím ready too." He said barely audible. He saw hope ignite in her eyes and smiled, "How about we get engaged?"
"Just like that?" She shook her head and shrugged.
She broke out of his grasp and stepped back, "Is this your solution? Just get engaged to keep me happy."
"I thought it was what you wanted."
"Yeah, but not to keep me sweet. A proposal isnít about that. Itís something you do when youíre in love and realize you want to spend the rest of your life together, not just to please the other person."
He stepped forward again, "I asked because of those reasons. I donít need to propose to make you happy so youíll stay around. I can have practically any woman I want. But I only want you."
"Listen to yourself, you can have any woman you want but somehow Iím privileged because you chose me?" She scoffed.
"What happened to you?"
He frowned and when he spoke his voice had risen, "I canít work you out. Here you are wanting to define our relationship and when I do, you donít want that either. What the hell do you want Taylor?"
She sighed, "I want you to love me. Itís that simple."
"Then youíve got what you want."
"Have I? Because I donít see any signs that you love me. I just see a guy who uses sweet talk to smooth things over, a guy who thinks the world revolves around him and expects me to ask how high when he tells me to jump."
He pointed a finger in her direction, "Now youíre being ridiculous."
"I donít think I am. Youíre not the JC that went into the business claiming it wouldnít change him."
"Well if you feel that way, why are you still here?"
She raised her eyebrows, "You know, thatís a good question." She said before searching the room with her eyes. She stepped away from him and went around collecting all her own clothing, which had been discarded the night before.
"Now what are you doing?" He asked, watching as she dressed in front of him.
"Iím leaving." She answered slipping on her jeans and T-shirt.
"Just because we had an argument?"
She shook her head, "No. Iím leaving because Iím not getting what I want from this relationship."
"So, this is it. Youíre leaving and Iím never going to see you again?"
"Finally Iím getting through to you." She said standing upright and looking him dead in the eye. She had no idea where sheíd plucked the courage from to finally leave him, but she was getting a rush of adrenaline from it. She stepped up to him and, placing her hand on the back of his head, gave him a long passionate kiss. "It was good knowing you JC." She said as she pulled away, taking a moment to look him deep in the eyes. She knew she was delaying her departure enough to see whether he was going to stop her, but when she saw no signs he was going to confess his undying love, she grabbed her boots from the floor and her car keys from the table, before walking out the room.
~~~~~ A Week Later ~~~~~
He watched her walk
into the club laughing, unaware of him skulking in the shadows. Heíd only
gone there because he knew thatís where she went on a Saturday night when
she had no plans to see him. She was so predictable.
He could hear her laughter faintly as it floated across the room toward him from where she now stood at the bar. Heíd never quite heard laughter like it. It was real laughter, he could tell because her whole face was lit up with amusement. Heíd never heard her laugh like that before, which bothered him a bit. How could he have been with her 4 years and not heard her really laugh?
All week his thoughts had been of her. The things sheíd said to him back in the hotel room that morning echoed inside his head continuously and he replayed her walking out on him more times than he cared to count. He was slowly driving himself crazy. He had to get her back.
He watched as she danced every footstep she took toward the dance floor, holding the hand of a guy sheíd probably met on the rebound and anger immediately clouded his mind. Sheíd met someone else already? He couldnít believe sheíd got over him so quickly, especially when he hadnít been able to meet anyone. She was all he could think about, so how could he meet someone else? Usually it was easy for him to get over someone, all it took was a shower and maybe a quick look through FHM. But Taylor was one woman he was having difficulty getting over.
He witnessed her grinding her body against the guyís as they danced. Her body, the body heíd had gyrating moves on his just seven days before. That body belonged to him, she wasnít supposed to be using it to get herself a new guy. He grew envious as the stranger sheíd engaged in foreplay with placed his hand on her thigh and ran it up toward her breast.
He couldnít watch anymore. He knocked back the remaining liquid in the glass he held and placed it down on a nearby table as he passed it on his way to the dance floor. His every step clearing his access to the sexual act playing out in front of him. That guy was not going to get his girl without a fight.
When she danced, what a sight she was. She was erotic. She was pure, unadulterated sex. She lost him in a world of lust and fantasies, and he was damn sure he wasnít going to lose her to someone else.
He stopped a foot in front of her as she danced, her back pressed against the guys front, and watched her dance. He didnít speak. He just watched. Her every move hypnotizing him to a state of euphoria.
Then she saw him, much sooner than heíd anticipated and he was pulled back to reality as their eyes connected. Heíd wanted to watch the scene play out a little longer. But he shrugged, oh well. A smile found itís way to his face, "Taylor." Her name rolled off his tongue with a seductive underlining as he stepped closer.
"JC." She said, her body freezing.
"Donít stop dancing on my account. You know how I like to watch you dance."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you."
She folded her arms across her chest, "That much Iíd worked out for myself. But why are you here?"
"Iíve been thinking about you."
"Thatíll soon pass with your next conquest." She stated harshly.
"Oh, but it wonít. Believe me, Iíve tried. I canít get you out of my head Taylor, and itís driving me insane."
Taylor looked to her side, at the guy sheíd been dancing with just minutes before, "Why donít you go and get us a drink, Iíll be right over." She told him.
JC watched as he walked away and turned to look at his ex, "Nice guy?"
She nodded, "Yeah, he doesnít want me for sex."
"You havenít slept with him yet?"
She frowned, "Not that itís any of your business, but no, we havenít had sex yet. Like I said, he doesnít want me for that."
JC glanced over his shoulder at the guy in question, "Oh, he wants you for sex. Heís just playing the game."
"What game?" She asked, getting bored with the conversation.
"The understanding guy thing, itís all an act. Guyís like that donít exist. But if you play the part long enough, one girl is bound to take the bait. You see, lover-boy acts like sex is the last thing on his mind. But in reality when he gets in bed at night, he jacks off to the thought of your naked body moving rhythmically along his throbbing cock."
"Iím not listening to this." Taylor said, going to step around him.
But JC grabbed her forearm, "I will get you back Taylor. Weíre good together remember?"
She didnít utter a word as she forced her hand free of his grasp and walked away from him.
~~~~~ A Week Later ~~~~~
Taylor woke to the
sound of her cell-phone ringing from her bedside. Groggily, with her eyes
still closed, she answered it, "Hello?"
"You alone in that bed?" His voice came the other end causing her eyes to shoot open.
"JC." She looked across at the illuminated numbers of her alarm clock, "What are doing calling me at 3 am?"
"I was lonely."
"So get a dog. Donít call me again." She said hanging up. But no sooner had she placed the phone back on her bedside table, it started ringing again. Again, she answered it, "What do you want JC?"
"Are you alone?"
She sighed, long and hard, "Yes JC, Iím alone."
"You want me to come over and keep you company?"
"I donít need company, IĎm sleeping."
"But if I were there, I could find a way of keeping you awake."
She shook her head, "I donít doubt that you could. But I donít want you here, and I donít want you calling me."
"So what am I supposed to do when Iím thinking about you?"
"Iím hanging up now JC, and Iím turning off my phone." She said before doing just that.
Lying back down and getting comfortable in bed, she closed her eyes to fall back to sleep. But not even a minute passed before her house phone rang. With a frustrated scream, she grabbed her pillow and placed it over her head to try draining the ringing out. But it was no use. Moving her head from beneath the pillow, she reached out and grabbed her cordless phone from the bedside, "I told you not to call me." She practically shouted into the phone.
"I need to see you." He said.
"No. What you need is to quit bugging me and get on with your life. Weíre over JC, and no amount of phone calls or you following me around is going to change that."
"Címon, you canít tell me you donít miss me."
"I can, because I donít." And again she hung up. Sheíd lied. She did miss him. But she wasnít about to give in. All the reasons she left him for were all the reasons she had to remind herself she couldnít go back. She was having a hard time getting over him, and the fact he had called every night for the past week made it even harder. How could she closed the book of their relationship if she wasnít given the space to do so?
Suddenly she was brought from her thoughts as the phone started ringing again. With a sigh she climbed out of bed and unplugged the phone from the wall. The house fell silent, and she took a moment to bask in the tranquillity of the night before climbing back into bed.
~~~~~ A Week Later ~~~~~
JC hung up his phone
as the operator began to tell him that the number heíd dialled had been
disconnected. Taylor had changed both her cell phone number and her house
number so he knew she meant business when she said they were over. But
he had to get her back.
Heíd followed her and called her constantly for 2 weeks, but what was next? He sat for 5 minutes mulling over what action he could take next, and suddenly a smile formed on his face. He grabbed his car keys and walked out of his house. It was 2 am and he was sure she wouldnít appreciate a visit now, but at least heíd be showing her how serious he was about getting her back.
"So, you got home okay
then?" Taylor asked into the phone as she spoke to her best friend.
"Yeah. I had to kinda drag Tommy home though." Amber chuckled the other end.
"He have a skin full?"
"When doesnít he?"
Taylor laughed, "Guy likes to party."
"Sure he does. But shouldnít it be him helping me home, not the way around?"
"Sure, but guys always get things backward."
"Talking about good guys gone bad, you heard from JC?"
"No. I changed my numberís so unless he shows up here, Iím not going to hear from him." Thatís when she heard the front door knock. She frowned instantly, "Thatís weird."
"My door just knocked."
Amber laughed, "Maybe thatís JC now."
"Yeah, good one Am." Taylor laughed back as she made her way to the front door. When she got there, she used the spy hole to see who it was and her heart almost jumped in her throat. She rushed back into the lounge, "Oh my God, itís JC."
"What? Are you serious?"
"No Amber, I always joke about stuff like this."
"Heís determined huh?"
She sighed, "This is getting too much."
"Maybe heís serious about wanting you back."
"No, the only thing heís serious about is sex."
"Címon girl, heís been hounding you since the spilt 3 weeks ago. Maybe heís realized how much he really loves you."
"Itís more likely heís realized heís not as irresistible to women as he likes to think."
"You wanna know what I think?"
Taylor rolled her eyes, "Go on, what do you think?"
"I think you should give him a chance. If It doesnít work out, you can always end it again."
"Are you forgetting the reason I left him in the first place?"
"Yeah I know, it was going nowhere. But whoís saying it wonít this time?"
"Me. Youíre forgetting I know that guy better than anyone, and I know he hasnít changed."
"How do you know? Are you seriously telling me that you knew heíd do everything in his power to get you back even 3 weeks after you split up?"
"No, I didnít know. But him following and calling me doesnít mean heís changed."
"How else would you describe it?"
Suddenly a banging came at the front door, along with his voice, "Taylor, open the door."
She sighed, "Look Amber, I gotta go. Heís banging on the door."
"All right, but think about what I said."
"Yeah, all right. Iíll call you tomorrow." And with that she hung up.
She made her way toward the front door in time to hear him bang against the wood again, "Taylor."
Taking a deep breath she reached up and unlocked the door, before pulling it open, "What are you doing here JC?"
"I want you back. I need you back." He said, his face masked in sincerity.
She sighed, "Weíve been through this. How many more times do I have to say-"
"You want me to get down on my knees, all right." He said lowering to his knees on the doorstep. He looked up at her, "I miss you Taylor. I need you back. I canít stop thinking about you. Give us another chance."
"JCÖ" She started but trailed off when Amberís words echoed in her mind, give him a chance. She sighed, "Get up." She told him, "Maybe you should come in so we can talk."
With a smile he climbed back up to his feet, "You wonít regret this." He said stepping over the threshold.
"Easy Mister, this doesnít mean weíre getting back together. Weíre just going to talk." She reminded him as she closed the front door.
~~~~~ A Few Hours Later ~~~~~
"And youíre serious
about this?" Taylor asked as JC stood in front of her holding out an engagement
"I wouldnít be here if I wasnít." He replied, still holding the sincerity in his eyes that heíd had the minute sheíd seen him. "So, what do you say?"
With a deep breath she smiled, "Yes."
He smiled back as he removed the ring and placed it on her finger, "I promise Iím going to give you everything you deserve."
With an elated laugh Taylor jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately on the lips, "What do you say we go upstairs and consummate this arrangement?" She asked seductively as she pulled away.
"I thought thatíd be the last thing you wanted to do."
"Hell no. Iíve been sex deprived these past 3 weeks and Iím in much need of therapy." She said, raising her eyebrows.
He laughed, "Then I can definitely help you out with that."
~~~~~ The Next Morning ~~~~~
JC looked across at
Taylor as she continued to sleep and smiled. This had definitely been a
good thing. He was happy that things had turned out the way they had. Finally
he felt whole. Lifting the blankets he climbed out of bed and slipped on
his pants before he noticed her looking back at him.
"Where are you going?" She asked sleepily with a yawn.
He slipped on his sneakers and grabbed his shirt, "Iím leaving." He told her simply.
"Leaving to go where?" She asked, a frown etching her features.
"You didnít think that proposal last night was real did you?" He watched her face mask surprise and he shook his head, "Oh you did. Thatís sweet." He said patronizingly.
She was enraged, "Then exactly what was this about?"
"It was once more for old time sake. After all, I wasnít going to let you leave me. Do you even know what that does for a guyís reputation."
"I honestly didnít think youíd care."
"Of course I do. This way if you talk to the tabloids, I can just explain it with the jilted lover story."
She shook her head, "Youíre a bastard."
He raised his eyebrows and smiled wickedly, "Look hunny, you were great and all. But Iím not getting what I need from this relationship so we should probably call it a day." He said putting on the last of his clothing before leaning over and kissing her on the lips. He straightened, "It was good knowing you Taylor." He said finally before walking out.
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