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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was written for a challenge at the Addictive Men Forum
Pulling her arm back Lindsay Monroe lashed out, putting her full effort into the slap she connected to the left side of his face. “Get out of my way before I do something you’re going to regret.” She warned her boyfriend, Danny Messer, pushing him in the chest as tears spilled out of her eyes.
His confession of being unfaithful had come as a shock to her. He’d been acting strange lately, but she’d just put it down to the trauma of Ruben’s death. She knew he blamed himself because the boy had been in his care when he’d been accidentally shot as the result of a store robbery, but she thought he’d talk to her when he was ready. She had no idea he’d turned to the boy’s mother instead.
“Lindsay, listen to me.” He said grabbing her, and forcing her toward him. He restricted her movement by holding her as she began to sob. “I just wanted the hurt to go away.”
She pushed her arms against his chest to break out of his grasp. “You could’ve talked to me. You should’ve talked to me.”
“I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know how to deal with how I was feeling and Ricki…”
She punched him in the chest as hard as she could, but it had no real affect on him although he flinched and she twisted to break his hold on her. It worked. “Do you think I need to hear that? Do you think it makes me feel better knowing that you went to her instead of me?”
“No, but what do you want me to do? I can’t change it.”
She cut her eyes at him, “Do you think that’s funny?”
“Of course not Linds, but I’m telling you, doesn’t that count for anything?”
She took a deep breath to try and fight the urge she had to hit him again. “Do you love her?”
“Do you love her?” She asked dragging out each word so they were easier for him to understand.
“No. It was just sex.” He said before he had a chance to think through the words.
“Oh… that makes me feel so much better.” She was sarcastic as she collected her coat.
“I mean… it meant nothing.” He corrected his statement running around her as she turned to leave and stood in her path.
She stopped and looked him dead in the face. “It had to mean something, you don’t just sleep with someone for no reason.”
“I’m trying to be honest with you.” He said reaching out to grab her.
But she thwarted his affection and pushed him away. “I don’t want you to be honest. I want you to be sorry.”
“I am sorry. I wouldn’t be fighting this break up so hard if I weren’t sorry.”
She turned on her heel and walked back to the couch. She slumped down and dropped her coat at her feet. She felt helpless. Her heart was breaking and she couldn’t see a way she could forgive him for his actions despite knowing it was part of his grieving process. He’d betrayed her trust and she didn’t see a way forward for their relationship. She could feel it crashing down around her and she wasn’t sure she wanted to try and prevent it.
He followed, and took a seat beside her. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You mean, like you should’ve done?” She snapped bitterly.
He sat besides her helplessly pinning his hopes for their continued relationship on her. He realised that she should want more from a guy than what he’d given her so far, but he really did love her. He felt guilty for going behind her back with Ricki, which was why he’d confessed, but he was beginning to regret needing to be so honest.
“Please, just talk to me.” He pleaded.
“I wish I didn’t love you.” She whispered.
Tears spilled onto her cheeks, “If I didn’t love you, this wouldn’t hurt so much.”
“Are you saying it’s over?”
“Do you seriously expect it not to be?” She asked in astonishment.
“That’s it? You’re not even going to try and work this out?”
“There’s nothing to work out. You slept with someone else. I’m not the kind of woman that forgives that kind of thing.”
“But Lindsay, I’m not a cheat. I don’t cheat.”
“Are you kidding me?” She asked angrily getting to her feet. “Of course you are. You cheated on me.”
He got to his feet and rushed to her. “C’mon, c’mon, we’re good together. Don’t throw this away. Please just… can’t we work out a way to fix this?”
“No, because every time we’re together I’m going to think of the two of you.” She grabbed her coat again. “I’ve got to go.”
But he rushed to stop her, “No, no, Lindsay please don’t go. Don’t leave.”
“I can’t be around you right now.”
“Shout at me. Hit me. Do something, but don’t just leave.”
“I haven’t got the energy to fight. It’s over.”
“No, don’t say that.” He said overcome with emotion as tears leaked from his eyes. “Call me a bastard.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“C’mon just call me a bastard.” He said standing in front of the door to keep her from leaving.
She stared up at him, considering his proposal. “You’re a bastard.”
“Do you feel better?”
“Do you want me to get my bat so you can hit me with it?”
“Danny.” She stopped him. She wanted to hurt him the same way he’d hurt her. But she couldn’t see herself hitting him with a bat. Then it happened, the words came out as soon as she thought them. “You’re selfish in bed.” She threw out the first insult.
The shock was evident on his face. He wasn’t going to forget this break up in a hurry. “Huh?”
“I faked orgasm on a number of occasions because you were grunting your way to climax.” She added.
The insult pierced his heart. He knew her words were designed to injure him, and it was working. But he took it. After everything he’d put her through, he deserved to let her get her anger out of her system.
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